Good bye 06

Dear 2006,

I'd be lying if I said I hate to see you go. You kissed my ass when I was in San Francisco, and kicked it when I got to New York. I made new friends and lost dear old ones. I rode on the fulfilled/desperate see-saw, and took more steps towards understanding myself more deeply, and observing unhealthy self created patterns which I'm gently letting go of. I learned a lot this year through the trials and tribulations, like that Kali image of divine liberation torture. I am starting off 2007 by turning all that pain and growth and knowledge into an art experience, which makes me feel like I can move on, and up and beyond what has come to me these past 12 months. I welcome 2007 with open arms and mind because I have learned that no amount of planning for the future can prepare you for the unexpected, and if I try and control the unexpected, well then I'm just taking all the beauty and mystery out of my life, and that my friends is not a life I want to live. So, here's to living where complexity and simplicity balance each other. James Brown and Saddam Hussein usher us to a new dawn.

Tall stack

Just Finished:
The Tantric Way -Mookerjee/Khanna
The Left Handed Coconut -David Aron

Just Started:
Against The Day -Pynchon
A New Kind of Science -Wolfram
Nature Word -Schwaller De Lubicz
The Dali Lama at MIT
The Hermeneutics of the Subject -Michel Foucault
and
Biological Structuralism -Pivar

Getting ready for some art shows, helping a major photographic database get off the ground, and watching some Tennessee Williams DVDs. Beard is huge (people call me Rabbi on the street)... India sometimes seems so close and sometimes so far. I feel like I am torturing myself just thinking about it. Its a mild winter in NY at least. What do we do about the fact that there will be no north pole by 2040?

Thoughts

Woah, I've been feeling the full moon's weighty light recently. Messing some things up, making room to breathe with out stress. So many people I know have had a hell of a year. Will 07 be better? I need to elect a new governor for my state of mind. I was joking with a friend today that mental institutions are the new graduate programs. In the sense that, although you are deep in debt when you graduate from an art program like lets say Yale, your foot is way in the door. I wonder which mental institution has the best art department? Maybe its in France where VanGogh spent some time, or Germany where Adolph Wolfli resided. I think I'm more interested in doing the equivalent of rain forest medicinal knowledge preservation in the field of art. As I've been researching my inevitable trip to India I've come across dying traditions which I'd like to spend some time getting to know and collaborating with the practitioners of. So much has been lost. Like the art of mummification for instance. Who does that anymore? I went to an art auction this morning and saw a mummy and sarcophagus go for a million dollars. Crazy. Who collects mummies? Orphans?

Sludge skin

Sometimes New York makes me feel so heavy. No, I don't mean fat, or lead like. Its like my flame feels diminished here, and I take on some sludge layer made of car horns and shopping bags and nose corks. Seriously, Its bumming me out. I escaped from my ghetto fabulous gallery squat with the taste of Indian planes on my tongue, only to wind up locked in by my own key deep in the heart of my childhood fortress. My Mecca. My third eye studio. This safe place. Home of my love is now only filled by my memories of her, these flints of paint and paper I rub together to generate some heat to make me feel connected again. Its getting colder out. I took advantage of late fall by sacrificing a $75 monthly metro card to the god of meandering walks.

Working on an art show. My first solo solo show in NYC. My Drawing Center show this summer was solo cause it was only crust and dirt collaborations, but it was a harmony we created, and now I get to speak with my own voice. And its a prayer. Its a prayer wheel, set in motion by the viewer. Feeling the Dada spirits in the history of this building. Not leaving for days, wonder what my friends the Slavic elevator men think I'm up to in here...

Little Cakes, It's a wonderful gallery. Honestly, It feels like the most connected space in the city. And I mean connected to the planet and the community. I have the honor of showing there...January 5th I think is the first day. They are too tiny of a place to have a reception, and Its kinda out of the way, but I hope those who go see my show will be touched by what I am creating. Here's their website so you can make yourself familiar with how rad they are: http://www.littlecakes.org/

To trim or not to trim

Some of my heroes

Dostoyevsky

Brahms

Brancusi

Old Masters

Woke up in the morning
read from the book of the dead
spent a lot of money at Kinkos
until a worker decided to refund it all
good stretching in yoga
till family drama dampened the mood
free ticket to Carnegie hall appeared
London symphony orchestra
the ticket was not there when I arrived
checked again after the show started
and I was in
after intermission snuck down to some empty seats close to the stage
Brahms Symphony #2 D major activated my 3rd eye
and blew a hole through the top of my head
cool silver light from above filled my skull
and I lost track of everything
last night the mountain top in India was a floor seat at Carnegie Hall

NYC fermentation

Ok, I'm here. Longer than I planned to be. Flowing with it, yet wanting to be somewhere else at the same time. Things are really ripe for me right now here. In fact things are really good in gerneral. I miss not getting to India yet, but it hasnt stoped me from growing a mean urban beard and starting yoga and being blissed out walking as much as I can. I guess that impulse to go to India was a subconscious prediction of future changes, no matter what soil they ended up taking place on. Its getting cold here, and I left all my cold weather clothes in SF, not thinking I'd be needing them any time soon. Got some solo art shows in January coming up, and some other secret projects to be excited about.

Fresh Window

Ah yes, Duchamp and Rose Selavy...just returned from the MoMA, Brice Marden show...one amazing room that took 20 years to get to...and then...the rain falls and clouds the bright day. So I need to finish up describing the French trip, cause life is moving on and I can't get stuck in the past. My cousins were here this week for a memorial gathering we held for my grandmother. They are like the sisters I never had. Shared lots of family stories, each of us filling in missing pieces, and learning and growing, and I feel like a fuller person now. A table of photographs of my grandmother, spanning her life. 93 years. Amazing. Wishing I could scoop her out of the photographs and bring her back into this world. Well I've got some white wine chilling in the freezer, I'm gonna make sure its not frozen, pour myself a glass, get cozy with itunes in the living room of my ancestral home, and resize some jpegs! (see below)

After Arles we hit collioure, the home of Matisse and Derain for several years. Fortress fishing village turned tourist trap. We went in off season, so it was totally chill and totally beautiful.

(someone remind me to post my art from this trip, I did a sweet little study of this wind mill)

(where the wind comes from)

After a few days we drove along the coast into Spain to visit Cadaques and Figures, both were former homes of Dali and each had a museum dedicated to him. Little coastal town. mom drew some faces on rocks and put them back on the beach. We got a free hotel room one nite cause of our connection to Dali. Worked on some paintings in a city square one day and had a group of 4 year olds as my temporary fan club. I was missing French cuisine, so we split after absorbing so much Dali and headed to Toulouse.

On the way there we saw this huge castle from the high way and pulled off. It was called La Cite, and was super commercialized inside like Disneyland version of an ancient castle, yet it was the real thing. They had some strange tradition 600 years ago of throwing a pig off the tower that kept showing up on postcards.

Never can have enough prayer shots..

Toulouse was soooo amazing. I really loved this city! The colors were all orangebrowns and bluegreengrays. old ass bricks and wood. my fucking piece of shit ipod decided it didn't want to import my photographs so I was really limited as to what I could photograph. Anyway, it was a university town, and a nice blend of history and contemporary energy. I very much enjoyed the French version of a drum circle which consisted of an accordion, violin, standup bass, guitar, saxophone, and beer bottles. Dancing with Spanish girls till 3am....

My friend Charlotte (who I met in Paris a week and a half earlier) happened to be in town. We met up and had a nice lunch. The light was so amazing, reflecting off the river and filtering and fluttering through the leaves. Stunning.



Our flight back to NY ended up getting delayed for a day, so we had a bonus day in Paris. I took my time to walk and explore new areas, still looking for that perfect wine bar...girl...bakery. Went thru parks, old churches, shed a tear at sacre coeur, watching a French girl play accordion for change while herds of tourists shuffled down these streets where artists used to live hundreds of years ago when it was affordable. Locals playing the role in their barrets and scarves and sketch pads drawing caricatures... The public square where artists display the generic Parisian cityscape paintings that they make from memory day after day... Saw the Pompidou's yellow and blue pipes below and decided to walk that way. After an hour or so I made my way there and decided to take advantage of its late hours and catch some art. Rauschenberg and Yves Klein both had solo shows (I gained a lot more respect for Klein's vision), and while exploring an amazing Vija Clemens show I bumped into an artist who I had met in Chicago a couple of years ago. Small world. We got kicked out of the museum before getting to see the end of a huge art/cinema exhibition, which was so excellent. As we were leaving, I saw that there was a free Brancusi studio recreation museum right next door which was closed. He is one of my art heroes, and I felt like a real dumb ass for missing that one. After a nice vegetarian meal with my friend we said good bye at the Louvre, and I sketched some sculptures, trying to wring out every last drop from the trip...

Well, now its fall in NYC. Stain glass leaves over old central park playgrounds

Me and my cousin and her wonderful daughter

I miss that smile

This was my room for like 3 months, and I'm finally moving on up, away from the vintage darkroom fumes.... The next chapter starts tonight.

France. We come from France.

To continue the French adventure....

After a week in Paris we took the speed train down to the Mediterranean coast for the heart purpose of the trip. The Island of Porquerolle was a favorite childhood spot of my grandmother, and thats where we decided to bring her ashes. It was a powerful experience which I will keep to myself. Then My mom and I returned to mainland and rented a little car at the local airport. Map in hand we set out on what would turn out to be an art tour of cities seeped in so much history. Our first stop was Arles, a tiny Roman city of faded stone building with worn pastel shutters and narrow streets that were barely big enough for our mini rental car to squeeze through. This is where Van Gogh and Gauguin chilled at a hundred or so years back. There are old amphitheatres, thermal baths, churches with gothic facades, and old fountains. I was so psyched to walk these streets at night, passing the night cafe so famously captured by Vincent, and wandering into some little cafe where a group of musicians were kicking out some ethnic acoustic folk jams. The next day I squeezed in some time to paint some city scape studies, and go to my new favorite museum, The Musée Réattu, which is some former 16th century artists palace that now has all these artists come and do site specific pieces that were quite excellent. I just liked to see contemporary art living on these ancient walls as opposed to the clean white ones we so often see in museums and galleries.

Porquerolle


mom

one of Musée Réattu's courtyards

medievalal pizza delivery

France trip synopsis -part one

Now back on familiar and chilly Manhattan island..
Jet lag fading off like details of this trip..

so before its all gone...

PARIS
I tore a hole in my shoes I walked the streets so much!
Usually I would set out in the morning with a bag full of art supplies and a book or two, in search for the perfect cafe to chill at. Every morning I started with a croissant from a different patisserie, and begin my Parisian meandering. I like cities and am blessed with a very accurate sense of direction, which means I rarely need a map, and take pleasure in figuring my way around, and all the chance discoveries that go with trusting your senses. Infact, this whole trip my mother and I embarked on had only two known factors: flying in and out of Paris, and at some point making our way down to Porquerolle, a little island in the south where we were bringing my grandmother's urn. Other than that it was destiny as your tourguide, and in retrospect it worked out perfectly. Not to say that the trip didn'tt have its stressfull moments, rather, wonderful things happened that wecouldn't have planned for while in America. So for the first week my mom and I went on our own Parisian adventures involving meeting old family friends,hitting some museums, and relaxing at wine bars. I met a cool younger arty couple who ended up giving us our itineraryy for the second half of the trip (a hitlist of cities to see while driving around the south coast.), which I will post about in a few days...until then here are some pix:

Sunrise over the Atlantic is aweiffic

graffitii is more living poetry than it is art

These next two are the view from my bedroom window one night, staying up late preparing paper to draw onwhilel at the Louve (I'll post some art from the trip eventually)


The night clubs in Paris have a je ne sais qua about them

Hip hop is really popular in France right now

...more hip hop style

By now you should know I love flea markets

culture museum

Air India to Paris

Paris is halfway to India, so in a sense I am half way to where I was planning to be. And judging by the friendliness of the Indian passengers (sat next to the owner of an Indian amusement park who invited me to be his guest) that still seems like the trip to make. At times I've felt trapped in a Seinfeld episode just getting here (mom's airport wheelchair scam to save time in line ended up taking more time than it would have to have just walked, the box holding my grandmother's remains got stuck in the x-ray machine, etc.) . Well, all the stress is forgotten after forfeiting a night of sleep to watch the sun rise over the Atlantic. Vastness beheld.

Drive into Paris, loving the architecture and changing leaves falling down the grand boulevards and teeny streets. We are staying with relatives in the first arondesment, which is the heart of the original city. Grand rusty white stone buildings, cobbled streets, fashion conscious public, moped exhaust, and out door cafes remind me why I love Europe so much. Understanding about 70% of the French I hear, and being able to communicate my thoughts about 30% of the time, I feel 100% moi. Vegetarianism hasn't seem to have caught on here,yet goth clothes are making a major come back. I am enjoying walking the streets the most, and soaking in the thousand block long wedding cake palaces, daydreaming about a french girlfriend, and pumped to go to the Louvre tomorrow and do some studies. I have lots of photos, but probably cant upload them till I return to the states. C'est la vie!

Tibetan Book of the Dead

Telepathic tours of the between transmitted to loved ones..
ancient words saturate my own experience as a result..
altering perceptions and forms of engagement.
lessons flow when you become that which you seek

Off to France (Paris and Porquerolles) for a few weeks with my dear grandmothers remains
Closing her circle
Looking forward to change of scenery and studying some brothers and sisters at The Louvre

Been consuming tons of music lately, and going out night after night dancing here in NYC

For those in San Francisco in the next few week I have some work in a group show at the Rena Bransten Gallery called ON THE ROAD AGAIN: BEAT CULTURE, BUSH ERA opening October 19th, 77 Geary St., showing some sacred geometry freakouts.
For those in Los Angeles in the next few weeks I have some work in a group show at the BLK/MRKT GALLERY- 6009 Washington Blvd., Culver City, CA in honor of Fecalface.com's anniversary. Show opens October 26th, I'll be showing some raw delicacies from early summer painted on paper I made in the Pacific ocean.

And a good friend of mine Tara Foley is having a solo show at Triple Base (the gallery I started with Clint, that now my friends Dina and Joyce run) on October 19th. 3041 24th street, SF, CA. wish I could be there for that one (shit, and I'll also be missing my friend Diego's first concert on Oct 12th with his new band Crash Diet Crew at MonkeyTown, somewhere in Bklyn)

10/11/1912 - 9/26/2006

Happy New Year!

Venus Envy

Started looking through the archives today...

Grandfather's girlfriend circa 1930


Grandfather circa 1942


Things are getting quiet here...

Transition time...

The strange thing is, I had a numerologist in Bolenas give me a reading in February, and she told me month to month what to expect, and Its been pretty spot on since...

Its a heart breaking time for me on lots of levels, but I am keeping busy with things I love...

A call to action

I stumbled upon a rally in Central Park today, where thousands had gathered to bring attention to a critical issue we face as a planet right now. Can a phone call stop a genocide? It's worth a shot. Its the least we can do. Does the public still have a voice in politics "for the people, by the people"? It's worth finding out. Some times I feel disillusioned by this countries political process. Attending rally after rally to free Tibet, and against the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, and seeing the issues being ignored by the media, as well as watching two elections get stolen...Doesn't leave me with a lot of faith, but I still have hope. Hope that if people continue to come together and demand justice, the will of the people will be heard (or else our democracy is truly an illusion). Hope that the United Nations can get beyond its paper pushing and actually be empowered to do something on behalf of the people on this planet who chose peace and love for themselves and their (global) neighbors. I'll be calling my congressman/woman this week. Will you too? More information can be found on this website: http://www.savedarfur.org

Openings

Last night I went to an opening at the Montclair Art Museum where there was an opening for three shows. One of the shows was a group of portraits of American artists taken by my grandfather, and organized by my mom and the museum staff (see above). [There's also a little article on him in this month's Smithsonian magazine. Go Philippe!] Its a cool little museum. They have a great collection of George Inness landscapes. So good. Gods it makes me wish I were more of an oil painter. Also lots of Native American artifacts. I can remember looking at a pair of baby moccasins there as a child and feeling like I was a Native American in a past manifestation. My grandmother, whom I am still caring for every day, is so strong despite being so close to the end. I really am humbled by the power of this body vehicle we are in and its strength. Reminded me of the beauty of our internal systems so wondrously displayed in the "Body Worlds" exhibit I saw in Chicago last year.



Seeing how I am staying in NYC for much longer than expected, I am going to begin working on a project I've always wanted to do: getting a book published of all of my grandfather's experimental, eclectic, and beautiful photos that don't really fit in so much with the straight celebrity portrait work he is most known for. I've grown up in the archives, so I've seen the buried gems, and I want to dig them out and share them with a new audience.

Today I took a break, went to central park, followed my intuition and was rewarded by finding a healing circle to be a part of. It was so healing just to find a group of people who wanted to empower each other and share some universal love and wisdom. The main message I took from the group was the power of intention of thought in regards to shaping our reality, as well as trusting our highest form of knowledge. People need help, and I hope we all can realize our strength and start by healing ourselves. Or rather, may I be a vehicle to help awaken that seed of conscious, and void with in us all where creation emerges. May each breath I take remind me of the power I have to embody and share that love, and may I be replenished and continue to share.

Sphereism manifesto (2005)

This is what I wrote a few years ago, but due to new revelations I need to update it
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SPHEREISM MANIFESTO #ONE
MAY 2005 SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA

Sphereism is. Sphereism is the world around you. Sphereism is the world within you. Sphereism is. Sphereism is even that which is in direct opposition to Sphereism. Sphereism is how you grow and how you decompose. Sphereism is the building blocks of tangible reality and invisible energy. Your personal Sphereism is the direct results of your thoughts.

Sources:
Charles and Ray Eames “Power of 10” film
Quantum Physics
Buddhist Philosophy
Personal observation of phenomena produced patterns
“Dali Atomicus” by Philippe Halsman
Masaru Emoto’s research of prayers for water crystal production
Buckminster Fuller
The 2004 RNC protest in NYC + The Name of The Rose by Umberto Eco
DNA research by Jeremy Darby
Jean Arp’s experiments with chance
Han Haacke’s “Untitled Statement” (1966)
Mola weavers of Panama
Conversations with Clint Taniguchi
Drunvalo Melchizedek’s sacred geometry research


The rectangle breast has too long nursed us away from the observable pattern posts on our paths that point us to the un-spiral within. Our cult’s fractured right angle schizo-mania splits us, boxes us, and buries us alive in coffin towers. Back to nature. Back to basics. Back to humility.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



Black Holes Whole Sale. New Sphereism drawing (Sept. 2006). Title: "Hey far out kid, kiss me where the sun don't shine"

Higher powers

"I'm not part of history, I'm more of a part of mystery" -Sun Ra




Is there a god? I was given this today on the street. Surely this indicates something......

Me a Pharaoh and Would he Haulin?

Columbia County Fair, upstate NY last week


old friends


detail of reincarnation stew drawing I've been working on this week

Reflections

Got out tonite to see a dear old friend do a book reading for her new book _The Red Book_ at Barnes and Nobles. Sera Beak set me on my spiritual path way back when we used to date in undergrad, and now everyone else can benefit from her wisdom. Here's the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=br_ss_hs/002-7772261-7808830?platform=gurupa&url=index%3Dblended&keywords=sera+beak&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

From a Bird, by Emily Dickinson

A bird came down the walk:
He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
and ate the fellow, raw.

And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And the hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.


**Caretaking from 7am to 6pm (ate lunch @ 5), ran out to see my friend Mike Arcega's piece at a group show that just went up at the Asia Society, got to meet Laurel Nakadate, and then came back home for caretaking. Its 12:30 and i'm gonna draw in bed for a bit and get up at 7 all over again. This is the routine. Its exhausting, but I'm gonna miss its reason when all is said and done. Liberation for all from life's ball and chain.**

Appleseed (Johnny and Shirow Masamune)

Times have never been as stressful, yet there is a refreshing feeling I have about now. I am burning old constraints and feeling the space around me. My art is the shadow of my life, and watching my self this past month begin to incorporate things I've previously hated, into things of inspiration is a joy to behold. To let go of judgment, and negativity, and friction caused by separation. To inject humor as the reflection of love into dark spaces. At the end of my life, my art will be able to be completely viewed for what it is: a progression of mental states illustrating my desire to more deeply know my own nature. So many quirky pieces, buried in bodies of change. I can see myself on paper growing and incorporating and injecting and synthesizing, and expanding, and questions, and making mistakes, and being free, and trying to be smart, and being too mental, and being too loose, and re-hashing the same idea, and working in cycles, and following my intuition, and being regimented, and being experimental, and being here, and being there, and trying to be nowhere and everywhere. I saw a bumper sticker on a gallery window recently that said "Art is doing its job when it reveals mystical truths." I'm still hung up on this Grigory Perelman who solved Poincare's conjecture. I wanna hang out with him even tho I don't speak Russian. I had a friend in town who was supposed to pose for a portrait, but there wasn't enough time, so I think I'm gonna do one of Grigory instead. When I was a kid I would send baseball cards to my favorite players trying to get their autograph, maybe I should send the portrait to Grigory? So yeah, I'm just ape about the Poincare Conjecture and how it ties in with my Sphereism manifesto. I don't think people will fully understand and be able to incorporate the significance of this view into their reality for years. The world is round, not flat. We understand that now, that we live on a sphere, but now its time to realize we are spheres too. That's what my art is about these days, no more lofty cultured symbols for the elite, I'm going for the bulls-eye, Rice Crispies and The National Enquirer are my new vessels.